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| Lunarlady |
What some of you may not know is that when I was a member of another BB, I used to wax philosophical in the wee hours of the morning. Probably wasn't a good idea then, probably isn't a good idea now.
But there's something cozy and little naughty about being the only one in the clubhouse, so I'm going to imagine my 'stage' with the spotlight. I'll see all the tables out there with the chairs put up on them after the cleaning crew goes home. Moderators or administrators can feel free to delete as necessary, although I mean no offense to anyone, these are simply:
Rants and Editorials.
(I'm posting in THIS room because I feel it's prolly not a good idea to throw gasoline on the fire out back)
After getting home from work I was finally able to REALLY read some of the comments in the outback and I centered on one poster who mentioned that they disliked how the word "hate" gets thrown around. As I pondered this, a few thoughts came to mind:
When I was younger and someone would say "I HATE you!!", my first reaction would have been to ask, "Why?". (sometimes it was a simple sibling argument, to which the answer back would have been an invitation to pummeling: "Becaaawse!")
But to a stranger or acquaintance, the question was a hurtful "Why?". Especially if I had no idea what I may have done to cause such anger.
No one wants to be hated. At our base, we all feel the need and desire to be loved and accepted. This is a just and true need and desire, and no one should be faulted for having this need.
When we were babies, we wanted to be loved, so we "coo"ed and smiled and giggled and were pleased when others smiled and hugged. Hopefully we never outgrow that desire to be loved. (although the "coo"ing can get a little old) ;)
However, as I have grown and heard the word "hate" over and over and over, ad nauseum, I realized that I didn't share this poster's feelings about some using this word indiscriminantly. It didn't bother me one way or another if some stranger called me a 'hater' or lumped me in with the 'hatemongers'.
Why?
Now this question DID bother me and I'll tell you why:
I'm becoming desensitized to accusations of being a 'hater' simply because I disagree with someone's point of view. I know it's not true. I know that hating hurts ME more than the person I would be hating. (Half the people you hate don't know it, the other half don't care) However, if I ever DID say or do something that can be considered cruel or hateful, I may just disregard the person who points it out as an "over-reactor".
Not a good idea. Nobody's perfect, especially me. A little constructive criticism is a blessing.
Just like children become desensitized to violence when they see it in movies and on TV, so does the average person when they hear "hate crime", "terrorism", and "hateful attacks" over and over and over again.
The conclusion I have reached while pondering the situation is this: Just as the boy who cried wolf was not believed when a real wolf was at the door, so will people who use the word "hate" indiscriminantly be dismissed as "seeking attention".
This is bad.
My unease with this situation makes me wonder if, in five years, someone reveals to another that they were the victim of a 'hate crime', that the other person will respond in a manner such as:
"Uh huh. Sorry to hear that. Hey, do you have any idea what's on TV tonite?"
Will the word "hate" go the way of the word "Homo-phobe"? 10 years ago, it was considered bad to be called a homo-phobe. Now the crew I mingle with in real life roll their eyes and dismiss the 'over-reactor' with a simple "Yeah, yeah...I'm a homophobe. Get out of my face, will ya?"
Will the word hate lose it's intensity as a word? Just like "restraining order" is becoming a joke because so many people seek them for simple arguments rather than for life-threatening situations?
Or what about the word "stalker"?
It no longer scares me as it used to, nor does it bring about images of evil men/women constantly following me, waiting until I'm alone. I've heard it so often and used in situations where the "stalking" can be often seen as "coincidence" that it no longer upsets me if someone says they're being "stalked".
My conclusions that I have reached so far are these:
1). Over-use of a word will render that word nonsensical and impotent. (easy experiment...repeat your name 100 times and see that the sound eventually seems foreign to you)
2). Simply because you assign a term to an action or perceived action, doesn't necessarily mean that the word genuinely applies to the action. I can say as much as I want: President Bush is a female. I can demand that he's a girl. I can show footage of him wearing a dress, proving my case that he is, indeed, female. However I will mostly likely not prove to the world at large (no matter how many times I say it) that President Bush is not a man.
3). Frightened people will say anything. Sad but true. Even to the point of labeling even the Pope a "hater" of non-Catholics. I doubt the Pope 'hates' anything, even sin. I suspect he's very sad when people sin. But being sad doesn't mean he hates.
Just a few thoughts I'm trying to get out of my head so I can sleep without dreaming about them.
Thanks for listening. I'm getting off the stage now.
:) |
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| TrpltJanie |
-stops vacuuming to listen to Lunarlady and tells other janitors to shut up so I can listen-
Well said, Lunarlady and I truly apprecite you posting your thoughts and feeling. For some reason, I thought of a song from "Belle's Magical Stories" where she sang "A little care, a little thought..." I can't remember the words but the song was about putting ourselves in other people's places and try to view the world in a way they do so we could come to a mutual understanding.
Rock on, Lunarlady... |
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| discernment |
Very nice post Lunarlady. You bring up some interesting points.
Thank you |
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| Francine |
Thank you for putting to words some very important thoughts. This has touched a spot in my heart.
Francine |
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| Lunarlady |
Aw thanks, guys. I was ready for ya to tell me to take it somewhere else because I can be really long-winded and boring at times. (I've also been accused of being "holier than thou", and sometimes I guess I can be;) )
Thanks for the kind words. I woke up this morning thinking "Oh crap, what were you thinking when you wrote that?", but I feel better knowing it was taken in a good light. |
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| Ahnalira |
Happy day, LunarLady,
First let me say how much I enjoy your particular style of humor and the time you put into sharing your reflections...
and now to add my $.02...
I'm given to the philosophy that "energy follows focus". If someone is having a bad day and lashes out at me and I react by lashing back, before we realize how it happened, we're in a major battle just by the nature of having made the "choice" to follow an antagonistic thought into words.. See how that is? From this philosophy, the whole concept of "hate" is a description of what happens when folks let their bad moods take hold and take over time as energy follows focus and grows over time as the focus continues.
I do my best to slow my own reactions by telling myself things like, "They can only be thinking such a thought about me because they've momentarily disconnected from their wellbeing... otherwise, they'd have to love me; >)".
And, after all, to quote one of my favorite books:
"No matter how far down the path of insanity we travel, it is only one step back to sanity." Whew, good news, n'est-ce pas?
Ahnalira
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| Lunarlady |
I agree, Ahnalira and I'm glad to see you here, but I can't remember where I've seen you before. (scratches head)
A friend once told me that the opposite of love isn't hate, it's fear. She opened up a whole new doorway in my mind because that statement made sense to me. Hate is actually fear and I've believed (and WILL believe) that until and unless I can be convinced otherwise.
Kinda puts it in a different light when you consider hate groups being filled with fear, doesn't it? |
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| Ahnalira |
Hmmm, let's see LunarLady,
My Cyber Life includes moderating the original Inspiration Board on thd DIS site for a year, I've allowed Rita to publish a few my concierge review articles at Reader's Clubhouse, and - for the past few years, I've twinkled through cyberspace as the owner and faerygodmother in residence at Our Laughing Place..
www.ourlaughingplace.com
Any of those seem familiar?
Ahnalira |
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| discernment |
WOW!!!
Can we all sing Kum By Yah while seated in a yoga position??
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| Lunarlady |
quote:
Ahnalira wrote:
.....for the past few years, I've twinkled through cyberspace as the owner and faerygodmother in residence at Our Laughing Place..
www.ourlaughingplace.com
Any of those seem familiar?
Ahnalira
YES!! Ourlaughingplace! That's where I remember you from! I love the pics and resort calculator from there! |
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| Ahnalira |
Cool, LL:) It makes me twirl and giggle and blush when someone enjoys Our Laughing Place... tanks!
Ahnalira |
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| Lunarlady |
Speaking of Ourlaughingplace, are you one of the travel agents there? I'm thinking of putting together a quickie trip to WDW Dec 26 through the 31st. (I know it'll be expensive, I know it'll be crowded) Can I request you on those forms you need to fill out?
Thanks!
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| Francine |
The OLPTravel pixies are really fantastic, LunarLady. I will be using them for my next trip, and have used them in the past. I actually used to be a travel pixie at OLPTravel, but life got a little to busy to keep up, so I decided to stop.
If you follow the link at the very bottom of my post, you will go to the home page for Our Laughing Place. Just click on the OLPTravel logo, and you can send in a query!
Francine
quote:
Lunarlady wrote:
Speaking of Ourlaughingplace, are you one of the travel agents there? I'm thinking of putting together a quickie trip to WDW Dec 26 through the 31st. (I know it'll be expensive, I know it'll be crowded) Can I request you on those forms you need to fill out?
Thanks!
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| Ahnalira |
Indeed, I am one of the OLP Travel Pixie team, LL:) I work mainly "behind the curtain" now making sure everything flows smoothly for everyone. Every query comes to me first, then I send it on and work with each travel counselor collaboratively to provide the best service possible. But I telly you what.. I think the women who are on the frontlines helping clients are actually all better at than I was when I did it, too. They ROCK!
Here's a link to the page that introduces all of us..
http://www.ourlaughingplace.com/lpt/OLPT.asp
Ahnalira
PS When you send in your query, let me know it's you and I'll make sure to do an extra special pixie dusting; >) |
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| Lunarlady |
Thanks, Ahnalira! I'll probably get it set up tonite after I get home from work. (I get off work at midnight)
Thanks again! :D |
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| Lunarlady |
My apologies to Ahnalira. After 11:00 tonite things really went to hell in a handbasket and I'm just not in the mood to plan a vacation right now. I promise, though, that I'm going to get over there and fill out that form...hopefully tomorrow or Saturday when I'm in a better frame of mind.
I DID spent lots of time on the Laughing Place website looking at BWV photos. I'm in love with the one-bedroom rooms, but just can't afford anything that expensive during Xmas season. Looks like it'll be studio for me!
I'll be back in touch when my anger and frustration ebbs away. I just feel like killing my boss right now and that doesn't gibe very well with Disney.
(oooooo....was that a death threat? Maybe. But you guys don't know him, so NYAAAAAA!) :-Þ |
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| Ahnalira |
No worries.. LL; >) I think you are one smart lady to give yourself the opportunity to get into the "Disney frame of mind" first. It's the best way for the magic to work, n'est-ce pas?
We'll be there when your moment arrives:)
Ahnalira
PS We're booked for early november (SuperSoap weekend, in fact:) at the BWI to update our pictures and virtual tours.. (It's the "selfless" Life I live; >)
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