|
|
| Peggo |
Here's a little story I think you guys will enjoy.
As you may already know, THE DARWIN AWARDS are bestowed every
year upon (the remains of) that individual, who through
single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove
undesirable elements from the human gene pool.
And now, for this year's illustrious winner(s):.. drum roll...
John Pernicky and friend Sal Hawkins, of the great state of
Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the
Amphitheater at Gorge, Washington. Having no tickets (but 18
beers among them) they sat in the parking lot, and after
finishing the beer, decided that it would be easy enough to hop
over the nine-foot high fence and sneak into the show.
The two friends pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and
the plan was for John--100 pounds heavier than Sal-to hop over,
and then assist his friend over the fence. Unfortunately for
John, there was a 30 foot drop on the other side of the fence.
Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a
tree. His fall was abruptly halted by a large branch which
snagged him by his shorts.
Dangling from the tree, with one arm broken, John looked down
and saw a group of bushes below him. Figuring the bushes would
break his fall, John removed his pocket knife and proceeded to
cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree. When finally
free, John crashed below into Holly bushes. The sharp leaves
scratched his entire body and now being without his shorts, he
was the unwilling victim of a holly branch penetrating his
rectal cavity. To make matters worse, his pocket knife proceeded
to fall with him and landed three inches into his left thigh.
Seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, Sal decided to
throw him a rope and pull him to safety. However, weighing about
100 pounds less, he decided the best course of action would be
to tie the rope to the pickup truck. This is when things went
from bad to worse. In his drunken state, Sal put the truck into
the wrong gear, pressed on the gas, and crashed through the
fence, landing on and killing his friend. Sal was thrown from
the truck, suffered massive internal injuries and also died at
the scene.
Police arrived to find a pickup truck with its driver thrown 100
feet from the vehicle and upon moving the truck, a half naked
man, with numerous scratches, a holly stick up his rectum, a
knife in his thigh, and a pair of shorts dangling from the tree
branches 25 feet in the air.
|
|
|
| phamton |
It wasn't actually a Darwin award but a joke and a very funny one at that.
The original is found here:
http://www.darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-05.html
And the morphed version is here:
http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/metallicamisadventures.htm
Bev |
|
|
| TrpltJanie |
Hehehehehe---that one got passed around at a Toxicology/Forensic medicine meeting and being the new person there, I was gullible to fall for that story. However, I did several cases that were "truth is stranger than fiction" kind. |
|