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Topic: Poetry Corner, Part II  
12-09-02 12:27 PM  
Magenta I accept your challenge, Sirius! This is what happens when people take a "sanity" day off work.

*******

Twas the night before Christmas in YKW’s domain,
Member Magic was filled with pronouncements inane.
Entrapments were hung on the website with care
In hopes that a Hater soon would be there.

The faithful were nestled all snug and secure
Trusting YKW and YKW2 to keep the ‘Net pure.
And Dave, looking sharp in an ethnic serape,
Had just settled down for a Christmas Eve nappy

Then from out in the driveway there arose such a clatter,
YKW stopped in mid-rant to see what was the matter,
And Deb.. sending e-mail to “family” relations..
Was so shocked she employed the correct punctuation..

The moon on the asphalt did dazzle their eyes
No one was expecting a Christmas surprise!
And what should appear? Not a reindeer or horse,
but a brand new Mercedes (on a test drive, of course).

With an arrogant middle-aged driver so haughty
That his shit didn’t stink when using the potty.
When they saw all the Kool-Aid folk kissing his ring
They knew it was Saint Uncle KUH, the King.

When they saw Uncle KUH, the Hate-Liars fled
(with one call to Eisner, he could kill them all dead!)
The fools hoped to hide or leave others to blame,
But he blustered and threatened and called them by name;

" Now, Parker! Now, Ajax, Van Brujah and Coastal!
On, Janie! On Robey! Watch YKW go postal!
Now Haters! Now Takers! Now terrorist scum!
On Lunar! On Crank! Your time has now come!”

He said, “All you females just need to get laid,
But I won’t volunteer for that job, I’m afraid.”
“ You stoopid losers, I’ll soon kick your hiney,
And when I did all your girlfriends, they said yours were tiny.”

“ We’ve duped MIB to be unpaid detectives!
Now a lawsuit will teach you to mock my invective!
Begone, evil hacktivists, bone-wearing Haters!
Get out of my sight -- I’ll deal with you later.”

And then, in a twinkling, he leaped from the auto
And we knew in a flash, Uncle KUH was blotto
From the trunk of the Benz, he pulled out a bag
Overflowing with presents of ill-gotten swag.

There were pills, herbs and hormones to keep one from aging
Plus antipsychotics for when YKW was raging,
Perpetual rights to the name “Disneynation,”
And a tinfoil hat that keeps out radiation.

For YKW2, a new delete button for unwanted posters,
A new superweapon that plugs into a toaster,
A thesaurus with words to fill Haters with dread,
And a tinfoil hat for his oversized head.

Deb waited eagerly, her turn was next.
Saint KUH looked into his bag, quite perplexed.
Then he said, as her face turned as red as a cherry,
“ I’m sorry, but SlimFast is too hard to carry.”

She flew into a rage and went off like a bomb,
Then LB ran in shrieking, “Don’t you DARE hurt my Mom!”
Now KUH felt sad – he didn’t mean to offend her
For Deb, like himself, is a world-champion spender.

Then King Uncle KUH had more in his sack,
But YKW2 cried out, “Look, an incoming hack!”
Out in front parked an ambulance, driven by Takers,
With a sign on the side that said “Shady Rest Acres.”

While YKW2’s spy software was trying to track it,
Poor YKW was fitted for a sleeveless white jacket.
Then they heard her exclaim as they drove out of sight,
" HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, SCHIZOPHRENIA BITES!"

******

Any more poets out there?

Your Pal,

The Divine Miss M

(edited to mention that this is a work of PARODY - in case there are people out there who don't understand the meaning of that word.., atlas)

(And again to fix a dumb mistake!)


[Edited by Magenta]
[Edited by Magenta]
12-09-02 12:43 PM  
inkydinkydoo Divine, Miss M, just Divine! I wish you'd take more days off if this is the result! I giggled myself silly. Not bad for a Monday.

Pat
12-09-02 12:49 PM  
ronski kudos to both of you. thanks for the laughs!
12-09-02 02:51 PM  
Robey Oh my gawd is that funny! Good job! :)
12-09-02 04:18 PM  
MadMax Magenta vs Sirius in a poetry bake-off. Where do we buy the tickets for ringside seats? This will be one to see.
12-09-02 04:20 PM  
Robin A Common Ground Christmas. Think we can talk Pixar into doing the animation?
12-09-02 09:04 PM  
Sirius Good show Magenta!
12-09-02 10:08 PM  
DWDreams
Very nice. Wit and style. You guys are killing me tonight, my sides hurt. And I love it!
12-09-02 10:13 PM  
Coastalwader Ah, the old Christmas spirit lives and breaths!

Good job guys! All of ya!